Police Beat

by Noell Wolfgram Evans

A quick shortcut across the neighborhood, a poorly timed magic trick, a man carting around a fortune in recycling and an argument for not helping friends were just some of the things officers of the Broadview Heights Police Department had to contend with in August.

Chicken so good you’ll forget where you are

Aug. 15 — A driver traveling along I-77 near East Sprague Road called into the Broadview Heights Police Department because there was a car in front of her that was swerving between lanes. Police were able to locate the car and, after noticing the same actions, pulled the driver over. Where perhaps they expected to be met with the smell of alcohol, the officer instead was hit with “an overwhelming smell of fried chicken.” He observed the driver wearing a lot of his meal and chicken bones strewn throughout the vehicle. But it wasn’t that the chicken grease made the steering wheel slippery, the driver admitted to drinking a little alcohol as well. After some field tests, he was charged with driving while under the influence.

An interesting way to apply for a job

Aug. 17 — A gym employee called Broadview Heights police after what they felt was a threatening phone call. The caller referenced guns and used language that was once the exclusive purview of sailors. Thanks to caller ID, police were able to locate the caller. When they asked him why he had called the gym and made those statements, he explained that he was trying to get hired as a professional MMA fighter.

Was it Uncle Scrooge?

Aug. 11 — The manager of a local restaurant had police stop by as he believed that the restaurant was a victim in a complicated scheme to defraud the company. After a review of the company books, a number of “withdrawals and deductions” from the business’s bank accounts were tracked back to a continuing series of disputed charges connected to an individual employee. What appeared to be happening was that the employee was collecting hundreds of dollars from tips on credit and debit card transactions. For example, for a $1.39 purchase, the employee was left a $250 tip. Those transactions would eventually be disputed and the restaurant would not receive the payment but the employee would have already been given their tip payout, essentially taking money from the restaurant that it didn’t have. The manager questioned the employee on the tip amounts but was told that the purchases were made by a rich uncle who wanted to help her out.

They don’t just deliver pizza, they deliver justice

Aug. 14 — When a customer fell into a table at a local pizzeria, employees were curious about what was going on. But when the customer dropped his carryout order outside of his car and then left without incident, that curiosity switched to concern — so much so that they immediately called the police. In the time that it takes to put pepperoni on a pie, Broadview Heights police had pulled the vehicle over. The officer noted that the driver’s attempts to pass several field sobriety tests were “atrocious” and took him into custody.

The quarterly work review is going to be a little awkward

Aug. 12 — It’s going to be a little awkward when an employee for a local auto dealer asks the boss for a letter of recommendation after turning one of their cars into an airplane. A Broadview Heights officer tracked a car on I-77 going 125 mph. The driver achieved this Looney Tunes-level of speed in a 60-mph zone. For the driver though, this was a little too slow as the officer pushed his patrol car to 135 mph in pursuit and wasn’t getting any closer. Despite the officer using lights and sirens, the car continued to rocket through the streets, weaving in and out of traffic. Fearing for the safety of the other cars on the road, the officer decided to cut short their chase. As he did, the car in question tried to navigate the Pleasant Valley Road exit which he did not do well. The car flew off the ramp 60 feet through the air. It hit the ground and then shot an estimated 48 feet back through the air on the rebound, coming to a stop only by hitting the guardrail. The officer immediately went to check on the driver who was somehow unharmed. The driver showed no visible injuries and said he was driving his employer’s car back to work. That’s when the officer noticed the vehicle had dealer plates and the driver was wearing a work shirt with a car dealership name on it. The officer also soon discovered that the driver, a juvenile, was just an intern at the dealership.

Rough start to the week

Aug. 24 — In perhaps the most Monday morning start of any Monday morning, a Cleveland resident traveling along I-77 called the Broadview Heights Police Department for roadside assistance. It wasn’t that her car was broken down, it was that it was “engulfed in flames.” The resident was driving along when the car began to lose power. As she pulled to the side of the road she noticed some smoke. The driver exited the vehicle and called 911 just as the flames started shooting out of the car. The officer on the scene closed part of the highway, the Broadview Heights Fire Department arrived to extinguish the fire, and a tow truck came to remove the charred hull while the driver watched and must have been thinking “Well, this week can’t get any worse.”

Love is a cruel mistress

Aug. 15 — A resident stopped into the Broadview Heights Police Department to file a report that he feared he was the victim of a fraud. Fresh off of a divorce, the man had gotten onto an online dating website where he connected with a woman who claimed to be working in a high-profile position overseas. After some flirtatious back-and-forth, the woman asked the man for a favor — she needed him to log into one of her bank accounts and transfer some funds to one of her associates. He was able to make two transfers but when attempting the third became locked out of the account. He let the woman know and she said, “No problem, just send the final transfer from your account and I’ll pay you back.” The man sent nearly $50,000 to the woman’s associate but when he contacted the bank the woman had directed him to in order to get repaid, he was told that the fees alone would total an additional $30,000. Feeling like that might be a little high, he consulted his bank and was told that it sounded like he was the victim of a scam.